Wednesday, December 21, 2011

6 Months

6 months. I can hardly believe that 6 long months have flown by since the day we were standing in the ICU watching the nurses do CPR. 6 months since the day that we stood there completely helpless staring at them doing their job but with a spirit of peace in the room. 6 months since the day that we knew Dad had flown away to enjoy eternity with Jesus.
A lot of things happen when you lose someone close to you. Unfortunately, we have a lot of experience with loss in our little family. Losing 10 people near and dear to our hearts between September 2010 and June 2011, not including the tragic loss we experienced in 2007, gives a lot of perspective on loss. It is interesting that you do the same thing when you lose someone you love. You remember. You remember the good times most of all, but some of the bad. You remember what they taught you. You remember what they said to you. You remember their spirit. You remember how they made you feel. You remember how they treated other people. You remember how funny they were. You remember how they looked. You remember so much and you cling to every single memory because it is what will live on with you until the day you are reunited. I have been remembering a lot about my Dad the last few weeks. I think that is why I have maybe been a little grumpy. (Just ask Stephen) Not wanting to really feel the sadness that is heavy on my heart due to him being gone. Not wanting to admit that he was sick and has gone to heaven. Not wanting to show that I am not as strong as I appear to be.
So, I remember...
*the sound of his keys when he would jingle them.
*the way he would say "clean your ceiling" when he would tuck me in at night.
*the way he "whispered" in church, but it was loud because he couldn't hear very well.
*the way he coughed every winter.
*the perfectionism that was present in absolutely everything he did.
*the unbelievable creativity that he had and that luckily I got a part of that gene!
*the way he played with Olive.
*the Donald Duck voice he could talk in perfectly.
*the basketball goal he built for Mica and I for Christmas one year.
*the way he would pester us.
*the tickle monster fights.
*the sound of his voice.
*talking to him every morning on my drive to school the last 6 months of his life.
*listening to him laugh at laffy taffy jokes.
*going on the donut ride with him on Saturday mornings.
*watching him literally roll across the water the first time we went tubing at the lake.
*hearing him mispronounce things that used to drive me crazy, but now make me smile. Like "ski-do" instead of "sea do".
*watching him hold Olive for the first time and that special look in his eyes.
*the plaid shirts he wore.
*his strict rules.
*his impatience with long explanatory answers. "just yes or no, that is all I need to know."
*him helping me with my science fair projects.
*how proud he was the day I got married.
*how helpful he always was.
*his servant's heart.
This list could go on and on...
Most of all I remember that I want to live my life in a way that would make him proud.

No comments:

Post a Comment